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Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Monday, January 2, 2017

College applications in US to Canadian schools surge

College applications by U.S. snowflakes afraid of a Trump presidency has soared by 70 percent over last year to the University of Toronto. McMaster University's American applications have increased by 34 percent, according to the Associated Press.

"I think everybody in international education is a little uneasy, in part because some of the rhetoric in the campaign frightened people overseas,"Stephen Dunnet, Vice Provost at the University of Buffalo for international education (GO CHIPS!).

"It's going to be perhaps a bit rocky for a couple of years," he said, referring to the fears that potential college students have about differing opinions based upon success.

Canadian schools are recruiting in the U.S. more aggressively now that Trump has beaten a rich white woman who violated the Espionage Act and got away with it.

The University of Toronto held a panel in Washington, D.C. in December about the election in an effort to recruit prospective scared liberals.

And while none of the Hollywood leftists who swore they would move to Canada told the truth, at least we still have kids who are willing to run away, crying from the humiliation that Hillary Clinton couldn't even beat a reality TV guy with a 500 word vocabulary.

That's yoooooge.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Duterte threw a dude out of a chopper

Potty-mouth Billy Badbutt Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte earlier this month bragged about personally shooting and killing three men and using a powerful painkiller in excess of a doctor's order.

Now the guy is bragging that he threw a kidnapping suspect from a helicopter . . . and he has no regrets and would do it again. He is the judge, jury and executioner.

Duterte told the story of his vigilante justice at the Camarines Sur provincial capitol. It was his cute way of showing that he really was serious about anti-corruption strategies.

"If you are corrupt, I will fetch you with a helicopter and I will throw you out on the way to Manila," the lunatic leader said. "I have done that before, why should I not do it again?"

Nobody could think of a reason.

Then the madman spoke in explicit details of his actions. He went after a group of kidnapping suspects who allegedly abused a victim even after receiving their requested ransom. He then told of how he ordered the helicopter pilot to fly at a specific altitude--so the splatter of the body wouldn't cause a ruckus on the ground.

He supposedly did the deed when he was the Davao mayor.

Earlier this month, Duterte said he killed three guys "to show to the [police] that if I can do it, why can't you?"

"And I'd go around in Davao with a motorcycle, with a big bike around, and I would just patrol the streets, looking for trouble," the crazy leader said. "I was really looking for a confrontation so I could kill."

Of course, just hours after confessing, a spokesman for the functional schizophrenic Duterte denied that he had killed anyone.


Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Guess who has: Executive Delusional Disorder with Narcissistic Features

There may be a new mental disorder to be considered for the future DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual). It doesn't have a name yet, but perhaps we should call it: "Executive Delusional Disorder with Narcissistic Features."

In order to make the diagnosis, at least 3 of the 6 criteria below must exist.

Some of the diagnostic criteria to consider are: 
1. the individual must be an executive in high office with an inflated sense of self and one's ability to evaluate one's effectiveness in their leadership skills with objective honesty. 
2. an inflated sense of one's own intelligence and the underestimation of the intelligence of others.  
3. the ability to spend inordinate amounts of non-productive time with no sense of guilt that others are suffering or dying as you shoot 147 by the end of the 18th hole.
4. a magnified sense of insight regarding racial issues with concomitant abhorrence toward Caucasians and conservative philosophies.
5. falsely believes that all conservatives are instruments of evil.
6. is chronically confused over the definition of hero and heroism: for example, a person suffering from Executive Delusional Disorder with Narcissistic Features might confuse the idea that a person with Gender Dysphoria Disorder (e.g., a biological man who believes that he is a biological woman, and if he mutilates his genitals in an attempt to physically resemble a woman will actually become a female) would believe that person is a hero rather than being mentally ill. (See Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner.) 
Although Executive Delusional Disorder with Narcissistic Features is somewhat rare, it can be seen in some world leaders, some of whom do not even lead from the front, but stay behind to "lead," which in itself, is a delusion.



Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Why Lena Dunham smells socks that smell

Lena Dunham said that she wishes she'd had an abortion to fight the "stigma around this issue." Many people wish her Dunham's mother felt the same way.

"Something I've thought about  a lot is the fact that there is stigma around abortion," she said on her podcast.

Dunham had visited the abortion factory known as Planned Parenthood, where their only plan is how to avoid being a parent. She was asked there by a young girl who told her to join in a project where women share stories of abortion.

"I sort of jumped," Dunham giggled. "'I haven't had an abortion,' I told her. I wanted to make it really clear to her that as much as I was going out and fighting for other women's options, I myself had never had an abortion."

"Even I, the woman who cares as much as anybody about a woman's right to choose, felt it was important that people know I was unblemished in this department," she said, adding, "Now I can say that I still haven't had an abortion, but I wish I had."

The idea that this idiot would say that she wishes she had the chance to end the life of an infant disgusts me, as it disgusted many on Twitter who saw her statement. 

Ronald Reagan said it best: "I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."

Lena Dunham is despicable. 

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Trudeau is skating backwards

Ottawa -- Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's approval rating is heading south over the past three months as reality hits home. The economy is terrible and concerns over the pipeline approvals are eating away at "Pretty Boy's" positive numbers, an opinion poll released on Friday showed.

On a positive note, however, he smells nice, has a pleasant smile, and 55 percent of Canadians continue to express undeserved confidence in his performance, according to the Angus Reid poll. 

He also is a lot more popular than his two political opponents and more popular than any recent PM, in spite of having gone from 65 percent to 55 percent approval.

"While this level of approval may well be the envy of prime ministers past and future, it also represents the lowest approval he has recorded at any point since his Liberal Party won a majority mandate in last October's election," the poll said.

I believe that it's all a matter of giving Mr. Trudeau more time for us to see a significant change in his approval ratings.

He has just started in office and I'm confident that by the end of next year, his approval numbers will be around the upper 30's or lower 40's as his liberal, Obama-esque governing style will erode the public's confidence in his ability to lead, keep Canada safe, and 'make Canada great again.' 

Trudeau's drop in popularity was matched by a slide in voter satisfaction on issues such as the economy, foreign policy, healthcare and public security, according to the poll.

In other words, he appears to be "doing an Obama" when it comes to our borders and vetting of refugees, and it is probably going to cost him, as it will cost us, in the future.